My 40th birthday was fast approaching and the thought of the usual wining, dining and party celebrations felt somehow cliché as my husband Matt and I speculated on how to mark the occasion. At first we’d agreed on a gigantic combined celebration at our mountain home with the guest list climbing over 100 people but as the actual day loomed closer I couldn’t help but feel that a different ‘line in the sand’ would be more appropriate to mark this next chapter in our lives.
Around about the same time we were forming a new strategic alliance with the founder of nibbana.com.au who was promoting the Australia/New Zealand leg of the Dan Millman ‘Peaceful Warrior’ tour. I had long been a fan of Dan Millman having read ‘Way of the Peaceful Warrior’ in the late 1980’s and then ‘Life You Were Born To Live’ some ten years later. It seemed to be that Dan Millman popped up out of nowhere every ten years in my life, first in print and now in person, so when Julie Ann Storr founder of nibbana offered us tickets to the Brisbane event I felt compelled to go.
The morning of the big day arrived and I awoke to my four month old baby daughter Mia crying for her morning breastfeed at the now predictable time of 4am. Matt rolled over and kissed me good morning and shortly thereafter, three-year old Oscar woke up to join the ‘big bed’ party. I remember lying there sandwiched in between the three greatest gifts I could ever hope to receive in this life-time feeling absolute gratitude and profoundly blessed.
The morning was however about to go a bit pear-shaped as young Oscar was not completely offay with birthday etiquette and hence decided there was all too much fuss going on around Mummy and the normal morning attention was sorely missing from his direction. After refusing to give me my present and storming off into his room in a huff, Dad tried to make the best of things but I was already resigned to the fact that this was not going to be one of those ‘Hallmark moments’! I felt a little disappointed as ‘Daddy’s’ birthday had passed some weeks back as a day of fanfare and family celebration, but the humour of the situation didn’t go completely unnoticed either.
I decided early in the day to adopt the mantra "Happiness in the heart - not in the circumstances" and as the day unfolded the reality of that saying sunk in deeper. To save a long and potentially boring recount of events, nothing went as planned and by the time the Dan Millman event rolled around I was feeling somewhat non-plussed. Determined to make the best of things I freshened up and off we went to the champagne meet and greet, and it was from this moment forward that I knew life had delivered me in exactly the right way, to exactly the right place, at exactly the right time.
Dan Millman was everything I thought he'd be and more, funny, warm, personable and an absolute delight to talk to. We got to chat briefly and as I stood there holding the copy of both Dan’s book and my own book 'uROK 33 Day Challenge - Dream Your Life, Live Your Dream' I marvelled at the sheer number of lives this softly spoken man had changed through his books and events - mutliple millions!
I watched him mingle with guests and blend in like one of the crowd. I thought about my own mission to enlighten and empower millions and felt reinvigorated and inspired by this ordinary man doing extraordinary things. No hype. No rah rah rah. Just a man sharing his life with others and changing the world one person at a time. Wow! He looked great; fit, relaxed, comfortable, and much younger than his actual age. When he hit the stage and performed his handstand on the table ‘party trick’ I’m sure every single person in the audience gasped alongside me in awe.
The two hours flew by in a heartbeat and so much of what Dan said resonated to my core. I felt myself nodding and agreeing with every word, and by the time he wrapped up I felt warm and comforted. I was reminded that not everything we say or do needs to be new, groundbreaking or ‘big’, but it must be heartfelt, honest and ‘Perfectly You’ in order to touch another human being in a deeply personal way.
We left the event, me clutching my 1980’s copy of ‘Way of the Peaceful Warrior’ now duly signed by the man himself with “Happy Birthday Sari” in the front cover and Matt keen to read the book that before now he’d never seemed to get around to. We adjourned back to our hotel room and talked well into the night about life, love and the universe and I awoke the next morning feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and simply happy.
As we drove back to the Coast, we talked about the future, the present day, and Dan’s primary message of ‘living in the now’ and agreed it was time I took a well deserved break. I was overdue to reconnect with the essence of who I had become over the years and to fully integrate all of the various roles of Mother, Wife, Daughter, Sister, Friend, Businesswoman, Author, Speaker and Mentor into one congruent and relaxed person.
The past couple of months have flown by and I am still deeply grateful for the series of events that turned out to be my 40th birthday. I have slowed down and given myself permission to simply ‘be’. My days are much more balanced and joyous, and ironically I have even more time to do all of the many things I want to do, and need to do, to feel fulfilled and on-purpose. Dan Millman was my messenger and for that he continues to hold a special place in my heart and mind.
Sometimes we all need reminding that in every moment there is choice and life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans. Even when you know what your purpose is, you’re clear on your values and you’ve got your goals and dreams mapped out, there is absolutely no need to rush. Stop once in a while and let the still small voice within guide you to your next step. Leave room for a few surprises and take the time to savour the moment.
Sari’s Top Three Tips to Living In the Now:
1. Grab a minimum of half an hour to reconnect with the natural world. Go for a walk in nature, swim in the ocean, sit and watch the sunrise/ sunset or tend to a garden. Just be quiet and still. Try not to ‘think’ rather simply absorb the world around you and tune into your senses of sight, sound, smell and touch.
2. Remind yourself of who you really are – a unique and unrepeating miracle. Only you can fulfil your unique place in this world. Take time out to write your goals, write or re-read your life-movie or listen to a guided visualisation. Then - don't forget to go out and live today.
3. Delight in the ‘distractions’. Follow an impulse. Act on your intuition. Practice ‘Gratitude’. Give yourself permission to enjoy the journey.
Until next time – remember ... uROk!
Love and light,
Sari
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Sari Mustonen-Kirk is the creative inspiration behind the uROk philosophy, co-founder of urok.tv and toptraderthinking.com and the author of two books. Her uROk Dream Your Life, Live Your Dream Podcasts recently hit the Number One Position worldwide in Self-Help according to both itunes Store and podomatic.com.
Books By Sari Mustonen-Kirk:
Bullseye – Top Trader Thinking by Matt Kirk & Sari Mustonen-Kirk 2006 John Wiley & Sons Australia
uROk 33 Day Challenge – Dream Your Life, Live Your Dream by Sari Mustonen-Kirk 2000 - 2007 Big Picture Management
